


Earl Had to Die

by ourdarkspirits



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Country Music, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 10:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11311353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourdarkspirits/pseuds/ourdarkspirits
Summary: Leonard McCoy does not like country music. Or five times country music ruined Leonard McCoy's life.





	Earl Had to Die

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure self-indulgent ridiculousness which I am once again blaming on [redbelles](http://archiveofourown.org/users/redbells). This time for reminding me that I do actually sometimes like to listen to country music. And this whole thing started because I started listening to the Dixie Chicks to remind me of that fact and then I realized that Some Days you Gotta Dance is a Gaila song. And this happened.
> 
> There's also a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/12159869005/playlist/5v5OljSdlKQIaRtI4cQVU3).

1\. Nyota

Nyota can't believe she's sitting in a bar with Jim, Gaila, and Leonard when she has a term paper due Sunday at midnight for her First Contacts course. Nyota had let Gaila talk her into taking a break and before she knew it, she had invited Jim and Leonard.   

The bar has a country feel and Nyota is fairly certain Jim chose the place. She's not really sure why. Maybe he was homesick for Iowa, unlikely as that seems. The only appeal Iowa had held for her when she had visited was the _Enterprise._ It was flat and ugly and it had brought Jim Kirk into her life in a way she didn’t look back on fondly. Of course, that last incident wouldn’t exactly be a mark against the place for Kirk.

Gaila drops down next to Nyota and places a beer in front of her. “Don't worry I got you something nice and boring.”

Nyota frowns and takes a drink of her beer. “It's not boring.”

“It tastes like water,” Gaila argues. “It's boring.”

“It does not,” Nyota protests.

Gaila ignores her and turns her attention to Jim. “You know, this bar is not great. I guess it's fine if you just want beer and don't like dancing.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what I wanted,” Jim tosses back casually. “And the music doesn’t really start up until a bit later.”

Leonard gives Jim a look that Nyota is pretty sure is mirrored on her face. “Just what have you gotten us into, Jim?”

“Nothing,” Jim protests, looking far too innocent.

Nyota doesn’t believe him. Neither, she can tell, does Leonard. Leonard doesn’t say anything, and against her better judgment, Nyota decides to wait him out. She takes a sip of her not-boring beer. Gaila starts up a running commentary on the handful of patrons at the bar, Jim joining her.

After a moment, Nyota starts to realize that most of the patrons have a distinct look about them. She gives Jim a sharp look. “Jim.”

“Uhura,” Jim shoots back, imitating her tone.

Before she can say anything, accuse him of anything, music starts blasting over the stereo. She doesn’t know the song but she knows the genre. “You didn’t,” she accuses Jim.

He gives her that ridiculous, innocent look. “Do what?”

She’s cut off again, this time by Gaila, who has a delighted look on her face. It gives Nyota a bad feeling. “What is this?” Gaila asks Nyota, like she has so many times before about so many Earth things.

For the first time, Nyota is unable to give Gaila a satisfactory answer. “I don’t know the song, but it’s country, probably twentieth century. You’d have to ask Leonard for more details.

Leonard gives her a sharp look that tells her he’s not amused. Gaila asks, “Why Leonard?

“Because,” Leonard cuts in, “Where I’m from, it’s still popular.” He doesn’t sound particularly happy about it either.

“Who is it?” Gaila asks, willfully ignoring Leonard’s irritation. She looks at him eagerly and Nyota has a feeling she’s going to be subjected to a lot more of this in the future. She is not looking forward to it.

Leonard turns a glare on Jim to match her own and returns his attention to Gaila. “It’s the Dixie Chicks. I don’t know what the song is though, and I don’t care to know.”

Gaila nods. That’s apparently sufficient information for her. She’s bouncing a little, to the rhythm, looking out at the growing crowd. Nyota can admit that the song is catchy, easy to move to. It doesn’t mean she likes it.

She turns to Jim. “You know what you’ve done, right?”

“What have I done, Uhura?” Jim asks. He looks completely unrepentant.

“I’m going to be hearing twentieth century country music for the foreseeable future,” she informs him, injecting as much venom as she can into her voice.

“So?”

“So, I can’t believe people still listen to this. It’s frankly terrible. It was terrible when it was first popular and nostalgia hasn’t made it better,” Nyota answers.

“She’s right, Jim,” Leonard adds.

“Thank you,” Nyota says to Leonard. “And Leonard is from Georgia.”

Jim is giving Leonard a horrified look. “I can’t believe it. That’s so wrong. You're from the South. You should definitely like this.”

“Well, I don’t,” Leonard retorts.

Before Jim can say anything else, Gaila is bouncing up out of her seat. She has been watching as some of the bar’s patrons have stepped out onto the floor to dance and decides to join them. Nyota groans and Jim grins, following her.

Leonard looks at her like he wants to apologize but doesn’t. At least, Nyota thinks, she and Leonard seem to be in the same boat. It’s only one night of terrible country music. She thinks she can handle that.

* * *

2\. Gaila

Nyota is grumpy and Gaila cannot figure out why. It’s almost the end of the semester and a certain commander will no longer be her professor so she'll be able to pursue her obvious interest in him. Nyota should be happy.

“You’re grumpy,” Gaila remarks as they approach the mess hall for breakfast.

“I’m not,” Nyota protests. She hikes her bag further up her shoulder. It looks like it’s stuffed completely full of padds.

It occurs to Gaila that the reason Nyota is grumpy is because Gaila has dragged her to breakfast when she would rather work, but she knows that humans need sustenance in the form of food. She’s only trying to help.

“You are so,” Gaila tells her, slowing down to scrutinize Nyota.

Nyota keeps walking. “I’m fine. Let’s just go please.”

Gaila hurries to catch up. “Fine, ok, you’re not grumpy. But you’re definitely acting grumpy.”

Nyota gives her a long-suffering look as she steps into the mess hall and Gaila keeps pace, wisely dropping the subject of Nyota’s mood, even though she’s worried about her friend.

She scans the room and sees Jim and Len sitting at a table near the replicators. “Hey look.” Gaila grabs Nyota’s arm and points. “Hey, let’s go sit with the guys.”

“Gaila,” Nyota groans. “I really don’t want to deal with Kirk today. Please.”

“You like Len, though,” Gaila points out, completely reasonably. “Come on, you won’t have to say anything to Jim at all if you don’t want.”

She really means it, too. Until they’re within speaking distance, and Gaila is struck with the kind of idea she just can’t let go, one that seems too good. If anything, it will at least earn her half a smile from Nyota, which would be an accomplishment. She makes eye contact with Jim, trying to convey that she needs him to play along. To her relief, he seems to understand and gives her a look that indicates that he’s game for whatever she has up her sleeve. It’s what she loves about him. He’s almost always game for her plans.

She’s a few steps away from Jim, when she puts on her best Southern American accent and sings, “COWBOY TAKE ME AWAY,” at Jim.

Jim responds immediately and stands up, pulling her to him. He has a pleasant baritone, surprisingly, as he belts out one of the next lines, “CLOSER TO HEAVEN ABOVE AND CLOSER TO YOU!”

She laughs and glances over at Nyota who does have a small smile on her face even if she is rolling her eyes. Gaila takes the win.

“Mind if we join you for breakfast?” Gaila asks, eyeing Jim flirtatiously.

“I think I’ll sit somewhere else,” Len remarks. “You’re taste in music might put me off my food otherwise.” He turns to Nyota and asks, “Care to join me?”

“Oh, come on, Len,” Gaila whines. She knows she’s whining, but she doesn’t care. She wants all her friends together. “I promise I won’t sing anymore. Even though I don’t understand why you disagree with me,” she adds as an afterthought.

Len stands there, looking undecided and Nyota is watching him. Gaila is about to make one last-ditch attempt to keep him there when she sits down. Nyota follows suit reluctantly and grins at the both of them.

She drops her bag down in a chair and says, “I’ll get you breakfast. What do you want?”

Nyota looks at her gratefully, and it’s the happiest thing she’s seen from her roommate all morning, making her practically bounce in place. “I’ll have oatmeal with fruit, please.”

“Ok,” Gaila chirps and bounds away to the replicator banks.

* * *

3\. Jim

Jim has just been given captaincy of the ship and Spock is on board as his First Officer. He had waited until just before the _Enterprise_ was scheduled to leave spacedock but Jim would take it. Spock had proven himself to be exactly who Jim wanted for his second in command during the _Narada_ incident and he had been worth the wait.

Maybe that’s what leads to the happy humming after giving the order for Sulu to pull free from Spacedock. He has everything he had set out to achieve when he had accepted Pike’s challenge three years before.

He’s just getting to the chorus when Bones, who is still on the bridge, realizes what Jim is humming. “Dammit, Jim,” Bones barks. “You couldn’t have picked something else?”

“I didn’t think you would hear it,” Jim admits ruefully.

“Well, I did,” Bones snaps. “I would think, being on a starship, I could finally escape this obsession you’ve had since our first year.”

“Come on, Bones, it’s Johnny Cash. It’s good,” Jim protests. He glances around the bridge. “Look, you can chew me out for my supposedly poor taste in music later.”

“Fine,” Bones grumbles. He stomps off the bridge and, Jim guesses, heads to Sickbay, where he should have been already.

Jim doesn’t think Bones has been to Sickbay since boarding the ship, and he’s glad to have gotten Bones to finally inspect his own station, rather than linger on the bridge.

Jim’s crew act as if they would like to know more about the dialogue they just witnessed, but have decided that the bridge is not the time, and the departure is not the place. Jim is grateful. He dons what he hopes is a forbidding look to guarantee that they won’t push the matter.

A few moments later he begins to hum again, and then quietly shift to singing. _I’ve been everywhere man_. He hears a quiet groan from the communications console. He turns to Uhura and gives her a bright grin and she rolls her eyes. She won’t say anything on the bridge, but he’s sure he’ll hear about it once the shift is over.

* * *

4\. Spock

Spock is hit with the loud notes of music blasting over a sound system that he’s fairly certain is against Starfleet regulations. He makes out the lyrics as Gaila dances into view, completely oblivious to Spock’s presence behind her. He thinks disapprovingly that any song advocating the an individual’s death cannot be at all appropriate to a starship’s environment.

“Lieutenant Hexis-Kyse,” he announces himself, raising his voice to be heard over the cacophonous music. She has told him on multiple occasions to call her Gaila, and while he would were they off duty, it is not appropriate for him to address her as such when he is talking with her in a professional capacity.

She turns with a small jump and beams at him. “Spock! Hi!”

“Please,” Spock says, “Lower the volume of the music.”

“Sure,” she says, bouncing over to her work station to turn down the music. “What can I do for you, Spock?”

“I came down to Engineering to inquire after the progress of your experiments with the ship’s computation systems,” Spock explains. She has not turned the music off, but he finds it is much easier to focus on the conversation now that the volume has been significantly lowered.

“It’s great,” Gaila answers enthusiastically. In the time that Spock has known Gaila, the only time he has seen her subdued was directly following the _Narada_ incident. He had visited her at Medical following her recovery from the _Farragut_. Seeing Gail lying still in a biobed has been disconcerting. His relief that she had survived the attack had been tempered by the distress he felt upon seeing her injured. Today she explains the progress she has made in her experiments with her typical enthusiasm. She is a competent engineer and, though she never admits it, very passionate about what she does. He listens patiently as she explains the code she has been working on and how she thinks it will affect the ship’s operations.

When she is finished explaining her progress, he commends her and then adds, “In the future, you should reconsider how you use the ship’s sound system.”

“Oh, the music?” Gaila asks. Spock nods. “Scotty gave me permission to listen to whatever I like as long as I’m working.”

“I see,” Spock replies. “The song, however--”

Before he can finish she cuts him off. “Oh no, it’s great actually. The whole song is about two women making sure this guy doesn’t abuse his ex again. You should listen to it.”

Before he can protest she has brought the song to the beginning and is playing it for him. She pulls up a video that she explains she found at the Academy with Nyota’s help. Spock does not fully understand the point of producing a video to accompany music, but he watches the video all the same. He listens to the lyrics with more attention this time and, while he cannot condone violence, he can see the appeal of music about women who protect each other.

She must see something that she interprets as approval because she laughs in delight. “See? I told you it was good. It’s one of the few songs Nyota agrees with me about.”  
  
That last is interesting. He had not known Nyota to find pleasure in listening to country music. He will have to inquire if Gaila’s statement was accurate. He bids Gaila goodbye and returns to his post on the bridge, satisfied that the success of Gaila’s experiments will prove beneficial to the _Enterprise_.

-

When he returns to the bridge, Spock notices that Jim is humming something quietly and Dr. McCoy, who was not on the bridge when he went to Engineering, is scowling more fiercely than usual. He finds himself thinking of the song that Gaila had been listening to upon his arrival, of two women who worked together to make sure they were never hurt by a man again.

It is this that fuels his observation. “Captain, I have noticed that you have displayed a rather limited selection of music within your preferred genre.”

He hears an angry splutter from Dr. McCoy as well as a groan from Lieutenant Sulu. Jim just grins. “Are you making requests, Spock?”

“I do not believe that is what I said, Captain,” Spock replies carefully. “I was simply making an observation.”

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Nyota give him a considering look. Of course, she has been well aware of Gaila’s preference for twentieth century Terran country music, and he believes she knows the source of his choice in conversation. It occurs to him that Jim is aware of Gaila’s musical preferences as well.

“What was Gaila listening to in Engineering, Mr. Spock?” Jim asks with a knowing look.

“I cannot say for certain as she did not tell me the artist or the song title,” Spock admits. “However, she did indicate that is one of the few songs of which Lieutenant Uhura approves. It is about a woman escaping her abusive husband.”

He hears Nyota groan and Jim turns to her with a wide grin on his face. “Lieutenant, perhaps you can help Commander Spock out.”

“I’d rather not, Captain,” Uhura says.

Jim pouts and is about to push the issue when Dr. McCoy says, “Jim, leave it alone.”

“Oh come on, Bones, I’m always looking for new music,” Jim protests and turns back to Uhura. “Please, Lieutenant. I’m dying to know.”

Nyota rolls her eyes and finally admits, “It was the Dixie Chicks. She’s been obsessed with them ever since we went to that bar when we were still at the Academy. ‘Goodbye Earl’ is the song.”

Dr. McCoy storms off the bridge at Jim’s delighted reaction to this information.

* * *

5\. Christine

The Sickbay has been quiet all day and Christine has nothing to do when Gaila appears in Sickbay and jumps up to meet her friend and figure out why she's there. She’s relieved when she doesn't see any evidence of a serious injury.

“Lieutenant,” Christine says, approaching Gaila. “What happened?”

She guides Gaila into an empty examination room as Gaila answers. “I was helping Scotty fix a wiring problem in the transporter room. It wasn’t a huge problem but it’s not the kind of thing you want acting up when you’re transporting people through space, you know?”

Christine nods and guides Gaila onto a biobed. She notices the burns on Gaila’s hands when her friend gestures. She takes a hold of her hands to hold them still while Gaila continues on.

“So we were fixing the wiring issue when there was a power surge.” At Christine’s arched eyebrow, Gaila adds, “I know, I know. We didn’t take the proper precautions, but it shouldn’t have been an issue. So anyway I got burned from the surge.”

Christine nods and is setting the tricorder so she can begin to assess the extent of the burns when McCoy appears in the doorway of the examination room. “I’ll take it from here, Nurse Chapel.”

Christine bristles at the intrusion. “I assure you, Dr. McCoy, I am perfectly capable of treating a few burns.”

Dr. McCoy attempts a mollifying expression. “I know you are, Nurse, but I’d like a word with Lieutenant Hexis-Kyse.”

Christine shoots a glance at Gaila who waves her off with an unconcerned attitude. “Ok, Doctor. Let me know if you need anything.”

She walks out of the room but not before hearing something about how Gaila got to Spock. It’s an odd accusation. She’ll have to ask Gaila about it later. Meanwhile, she has an empty office and nothing to do for the twenty minutes it will take for Dr. McCoy to finish with Gaila.

-

“What was that about?” Christine walks back into the examination room where Gaila is examining her newly healed hands. Dr. McCoy is already back in his office.

Gaila looks up at her with a bright smile. “Oh nothing. It was just a disagreement Len and I have been having since we were both at the Academy.”

Christine lifts an eyebrow. “Is this something I want to know about?”

“It’s pretty well known by now actually.” Gaila waves her hand airily. “Jim brought us to this western bar in his first year and I got really into country. Or a specific kind of country. Len doesn’t think any of it is worth listening to.”

“I don’t understand,” Christine admits.

“I may have convinced Spock that some of what I listen to has its merits,” Gaila explains, eyes dancing. “I was listening to the Dixie Chicks at top volume in Engineering. I guess I convinced him. Len is,” she pauses, “not pleased.” She smiles brightly.

“Wait, so you’re the reason for the amount of country I’ve heard since getting stationed on the _Enterprise_?” Christine asks indignantly.

“You don’t like it either?” Gaila gives her an offended look. Before Christine can stop her, she’s digging a padd from the bag she had brought with her from Engineering. “Ok.” She taps rapidly at the screen and the very genre that McCoy detests and she herself has never chosen to listen to floods the room.

Christine folds her arms and gives Gaila an unimpressed look and hopes to god she’s not channeling McCoy. After a moment, however, she cannot help getting hooked by the catchy melody. It sounds vaguely familiar.

“What is this?” Christine’s arms have come down to rest at her sides. She doesn’t hate it.

“Shania Twain,” Gaila answers. “‘I Feel Like a Woman.’ It’s one of my favorites.”

Christine nods. The song’s almost over and Christine is finding she’s enjoyed it despite herself when McCoy pops his head into the examination room.

“Nurse Chapel, you know I can’t allow you to play music in the examination rooms,” he begins before his eyes land on Gaila. “Oh Lord. Don’t tell me you’re corrupting another crewmember, Lieutenant.”

“One of these days, Len, you’re going to come around,” Gaila protests.

“Don’t count on it,” McCoy responds. “And you,” he gestures emphatically at Christine. “I seem to remember you telling me once you didn’t like country music.”

“I don’t listen to country music,” she corrects. “But exceptions can be made for Shania Twain. I’ll make it up to you next time we’re on shore leave,” she adds. “I’ll buy you a drink.”

McCoy is silent for a long a moment, one of his more formidable frowns on his face, before he says, “That don’t impress me much.”

Christine splutters and says something about figuring out a better way to make it up to him, but he’s gone from the room before she can get together anything more coherent.

Gaila’s gaze is fixed on the door curiously while Christine collects herself. “I wonder if he was hoping you’d respond with something about keeping him warm at night?”

Christine looks at her sharply, “What?”

“That’s how the song goes. ‘Don’t get me wrong yeah I think you’re alright / but that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night,’” Gaila explains, that thoughtful look still on her face.

Christine’s mind grinds to a complete halt and Gaila bounces off of the examination table. “I’ll see you at dinner later.”

Christine nods and wonders what she is going to do. She and McCoy have been bouncing around this thing for months and he apparently just put the ball firmly in her court.

* * *

Leonard tries to catch his breath and glances over at the beautiful woman lying beside him in his bed. He traces a line down the sweat damp skin of her arm and she looks over and meets his gaze with a satisfied smile.

“So,” Christine says, letting the word hang between them, her expression bright and warm.

“So,” he repeats.

“I thought you didn’t like country music from the twentieth century,” she points out, the smile growing on her face.

“I don’t,” Leonard replies, his hand still tracing up and down her arm until Christine twines her fingers with his, holding him in place. “I saw an opportunity and I took it.”

“I can’t imagine what people would say if word got out about this.” Christine raises her eyebrows suggestively, squeezing his fingers. The smile on her face is becoming much more mischievous and altogether worrisome.

“I don’t plan on letting anyone find out,” Leonard says, pulling her closer.

She rolls willingly and easily to him, her body tucking against his side and he brushes her damp blond hair off of her forehead. “Hmm, yeah, but Gaila knows. She was the one who told me how the rest of the song went.”

He frowns at her, though she’s never been one to be intimidated by his stormy expressions. “She wouldn’t.”

She slides her hand down Leonard’s chest and then looks back up to meet his gaze. “She might. Unless--” she slides her hand lower, “I asked her not to.”

“Which you’re going to do, right?” Leonard’s thoughts are scattering, but he pulls himself together enough to keep his focus on the conversation.

“Maybe,” she says thoughtfully, drawing her hand back up to rest heavily on his stomach. “It might take some convincing though.”

Leonard rolls toward her, thoroughly entranced, so that they’re face to face. His hand lands on her hip and he draws her closer. “I could probably figure something out.”

He’s so close to her they’re practically touching. Her gaze drops down the length of his body, considering. Finally, she says, “That don’t impress me much.” She looks back to him, an irresistible twinkle in her eyes and he rolls her over with a growl.

“I can keep you warm at night,” Leonard says, before kissing her.

**Author's Note:**

> There's an alternative take of Jim's scene that features Wide Open Spaces.


End file.
